may mga oras nga naman na gusto mo nalang umiyak...


bakit ako?

hindi ko rin alam...

maybe im just too exhausted to deal with people right now. sometimes things a little bit unfair but at the end of day no matter how annoyed and pissed off you are, you just have to deal with it. things that i shouldnt be responsible of has been left into my minds. i just wonder why people do such things...

im just upset right now and i know it will subside.


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God has plans.

iba nga naman ang nagagawa ng kaba

yesterday, a wave of crappy feelings got over me since the distribution of the ethics prelim exam was given back. yeah it felt like crap to see the paper murdered and me making no sense at all.

nervousness gets to me. sometimes i crack under pressure but if you look at it closely, the feeling of pressure is all in the mind. its like a ghost that continues to haunt you when you are in dire times.if you think about it, its just our minds creation and the pressure that continues to bug us doesnt exist at all.

hahah when i get pressured like that a sense of paranoia gets over me. i begin doubt myself if i am capable of making sense or this case, making analytic conclusions. i sir's point where he wants us to take part in the orals. i feel like i know i can do things already that i began to get complacent over it.

i learned that i have to know the problem first before making any solutions to it. its hard to finally understand where you went wrong. nothing makes you feel more sad at yourself than seeing where you screwed. its really simple but we tend to overlook such things.

i'll strive. i'll work harder.

recently has just been a whirlwind of emotions. lots of things have been happening but you have to go with the flow. it's just been overly exhausting if you are going to speak to everyone.

i just need to focus and be there for the person who needs me the most.

life is hard to live but its this times that make it worth our lives.

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compete with yourself
magiging maayos din lahat

it sucks that in the time of need, you cant do much but wait for things to be okay.

i attempted for the nth time to volunteer this week and it seemed to fail every time. its either we cant be scheduled or when we were scheduled some things came up that needed to be done. i feel like crap for not helping at my fullest.

the sad part is every speck rain of tends to drop from the sky seem to scare the living crap out of people (me included). i wasnt yet again able to volunteer yesterday because of the rain, grad pic and my weak physique.

if you cant donate, then volunteer and if you cant do either then PRAY.

nico imparted to me that lesson. i dont know maybe ill volunteer the coming days or maybe help out people who are near my place. for the mean time, ill pray as much as i can.

maybe this is what God wants me to do. its more painful to wait at home and pray than do something concrete like volunteering and donating stuff.


its much more of a different expirience when you've been to a place where the flood struck than just seeing it on tv. my tita was right when she said you cant splurge at a time like this. everything that i've wanted to buy is on hold for the moment. the things that cost too much is needed to be downgraded. i just felt like sacrificing even just a little (magazines is and forever will be one of my greatest weakness).

for the time being, i'll do all the stuff that is needed for school.

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still feel guilty

sometimes all the negativity gets to us...

the things that we keep overlooking and the thoughts we keep aside sooner or later reveals to us in an unexpected manner.

i dont want to be caught up in all the day to day activities that seem like a blur. people are only interested in themselves and there is nothing wrong with that. its weird that i freaked out but i know this is just temporary.

complaining about it now wont resolve anything. everyone has crosses to bear and this happens to be mine. i know it sucks to hurry but i think its better to wait and see what will happen. for the moment i am content.


things will be better all in His time.

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just patiently waiting